Breastfailure

That's right I'm a breastfeeding failure. Breastfeeding has been an uphill battle since day one. First it was that Kate wouldn't latch correctly and wasn't getting anything. Then I never produced enough milk to feed her just breast milk, which I was fine with because at least she was getting some. The plan was to breastfeed and pump so that Jeff would get the opportunity to feed Kate too and I was going to do this for a year. Everyone that I told this to was surprised but this was the plan. I didn't have a birth plan but I had a feeding plan. But unfortunately the plan never really even started. Now the breastfeeding adventure is over, I have no more milk to give. I am mad! I am mad because I didn't get the choice to stop breastfeeding. I had just started to get used to the routine. I loved in the morning when I would pump, Kate and I just talked and talked. I feel like I have been cheated because I never really got the chance to give this one thing to my daughter. She was suppose to get a years worth of milk not two months of some breast milk some formula.
As I pack up all my maternity clothes its a little bitter sweet. I really didn't like being pregnant but I'm sad that the experience is over. Looking back on it maybe it wasn't really that bad. Or maybe it was and my mind just chooses to block out those memories. Who knows. Maybe in a few years Ill want to do it all over again. I should probably look through this blog before I do though, it might change my mind.

Two months pregnant. I think my lovely glow is half sun tan and half all day sickness.


Five months pregnant.


Seven months pregnant. Don't I look so happy!


Leaving to go to the hospital to be induced. 41 weeks pregnant!


Oh but the result is so worth it!!!

Deja Vu

I sat in the comfy recliner in Kate's room with her swaddled in my arms, I closed my eyes and started to fall asleep. I was somewhere between awake and sleep when I felt something on my tummy or to me it felt like in my tummy. Suddenly I had flashbacks of all day sickness and rib pain and I was jolted awake. Thank goodness it was only Kate's hand moving inside of the swaddle and I'm not pregnant! Ill have to say I absolutely love being a mom but the journey to get here was not my favorite road Ive been down. To put it simple pregnancy really sucks! I wonder if we decide to have more children if I can be sedated for the whole nine months. They could just wake me up when its time to push.
Yesterday Kate went to the doctor for her two month appointment. She now weighs 12 lbs and 3 oz and is 24 1/4 inches. She also received five vaccines, four shots and one that was taken orally. Before Kate was born Jeff and I thought we would split these vaccines up so she wouldn't get so many at once. But after the last doctors appointment when she got her second Hepatitis B shot. We decided that lots of other children are fine when they get all of these vaccines at once and we would hate to put Kate through two days of pain. But it was so hard to watch as the nurse gave Kate shot after shot. Oh man was Kate mad, she turned so red, screamed and held my finger as tightly as she could. My heart broke for her. I'm really not looking forward for her four month appointment and more shots.














As you can tell Bella is a very jealous big sister. Anytime Kate is being snuggled so does Bella.

2 Months

Two months ago today there was a foot of snow on the ground, we sat in a hospital room sleep deprived and planning to take our bundle of joy home. Today Kate is now two months old, hard to believe!!! She is smiling and talking to us more and more everyday. She is even starting to sleep through the night, thank you sleep gods!!! She slept through the night two nights this week and the other nights she woke up around 5am. If you know me you know I love to sleep. My body and mind actually work best when I have +10 hours of sleep. As you can imagine I haven't got that much sleep since I was pregnant. Pregnancy was actually really good to me sleep wise. I never got too uncomfortable to sleep and when I would sleep in until 1pm I would just blame it on the pregnancy. I was really hibernating because I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep like that until Kate was a teenager, maybe not even then.
Kate has found her mobile this week. She just lays in her crib and watches it when I'm making her a bottle or picking out her outfit for the day. On Friday, I woke up to her talking and laughing at it. I love going in to get her in the mornings because she is always so happy and has such a big smile when she sees you.
I feel Kate has gotten taller this week. I'm slowly seeing more and more 0-3 months clothes getting too small. I hope it gets warmer soon so we can just start wearing her summer clothes that are 3-6 months. I'm thinking if she keeps growing the way is has been she will be in 6-9 months before summer is over which will throw off all my seasonal clothing. All her 3-6 clothes are summer and all her 6-9 clothes are fall, there really isn't any in between.
Poor miss Kate has some hair issues, as you can tell. Crazy hair really don't describe her hair. There isn't anything I can do to make it better. I try brushing it, I tried putting a bow in it the other day but the one side just stood straight up. Headbands don't work because the hair in the back isn't long enough and it just stands straight up. Do you think there are baby hair styling products?
This week Jeff's mom and dad stayed with us a couple of days. It was really nice to have them around, we have missed them. They are returning to Florida on Sunday but they will be closer this summer so we can go visit them.

Also this week, Jeff introduced Kate to the Bengals. I told him that she was too young to be introduced to disappointment but he just gave me the evil eye. Oh well she will learn soon enough.

I think this is her Who-Dey face : )

So Kate and I had a little photo shoot, as you maybe able to tell because all the pictures are the same. All I wanted was to show everyone her beautiful smile. But every time I got the camera out the smiles went away and of course as soon as I turned the camera off she would be laughing. After about an hour of taking pictures Kate said "You better get that thing out of my face! I don't like it!" Or at least I think that is what this means.

This past weekend Kate took her first road trip to see my family and to celebrate Easter with her GG (that's what we are calling my mom, grandma Geri). Our first stop was at grandma and grandpa Bender's house where we stayed Friday night. Kate seemed to love it there. She got to spend some time with her grandpa and meet her great aunts, uncle and great grandparents. She got to color Easter eggs and snuggle with her grandma Bender before bed. Kate told me she wants to go back soon. Even Bella felt right at home.
Our next stop on our road trip was GG's house. Kate got to meet the rest of her great uncles, aunt, great grandpa Sees, and her cousins. She also finally got to meet her uncle Garion. We spent Saturday night at GG's house, luckily the Easter bunny knew where to find Kate.
Kate got so much from everyone for Easter. She defiantly wont get bored with all her new toys and wont go naked with all her clothes. Her closet is now filled to capacity. She also has enough candy for ten people. This isn't helping me loose the baby weight.
Kate is now seven weeks old. She loves to sit and talk or sing with us. Our new favorite thing is to play paddy cake. Today I went through Kate's closet and dresser and packed up all the clothes that were too small for her. I know its crazy that she has clothes that she has out grown already. At this point I'm in a mad rush to make sure she wears everything at least once. I'm even happy that it is going to get cold again this week so she can wear some of her winter clothes that she hasn't yet.